I made a list of all the ingredients for this delicious sounding Garlic Parmesan Chicken. Oh...it's "Crack" Garlic Parmesan Chicken, and it went viral!!! It's a cinch to be out-of-this-world! Doesn't that sound like fun?
Well, I procrastinated on having my fun culinary adventure until the chicken was expiring, that being today. Okay, here we go!
I'm excited! (Not really)
First, I had to unload about 75 cans of Dr. Pepper and bottles of water to get to my big slow cooker. I carefully fitted it with a plastic liner, which actually doesn't fit at all. I got out my 2 chicken breasts, not realizing the chicken must have been named Dolly Parton. They were enormous, but I didn't realize that might be a problem. I dutifully and generously sprinkled them with pepper and, for the first time, salt substitute. I'm not supposed to have much salt, so I was proud that I was being so good! (Might have been better off if I had tried it out first.)
Then I added my jar of Garlic Parmesan Dressing by Buffalo Wild Wings, a cup of chicken broth, and a half cup of milk. I topped that off with an 8 oz. block of Philadelphia cream cheese and started the ol' cooker on "high." I was thinking at this point that tomorrow I might make a cake.
I just might have dozed off for a little nap, because when I next checked the slow cooker it was not cooking very slow. I turned it down to "low" and stirred everything up a bit. I think I may have added a bit of broth and milk, because the liquid part in relation to the chicken part already seemed a little disproportionate.
Later, I had completely lost track of how long I had been cooking my chicken. But I determined that it was done and got out my new handy dandy shredder. No two forks or hand mixer for me. I had the real thing! The real thing just wasn't quite up to the Dolly size you know whats.
When I accomplished the shredding, like a dummy I dumped all that shredded chicken into my small amount of sauce! Actually, this may have been when I added some broth and milk, cause I still had rotini pasta to add! I also added frozen peas at this point, which was kinda my idea.
I got out my beautiful pasta pan and my clip on drainer (also new!) and brought my water to a boil. It took 13 minutes to cook that thick Rotini, 13 minutes of steaming up my hair which would have been ruined if it hadn't already been ruined by my new BiPAP machine. Not to mention draining that pasta. Good grief! It was like having a steam facial!
I added (part of) my Rotini to the crock pot, which by now was looking burned around the edges. I didn't even know you could burn something in a crock pot--on low! Oh, and mozarella cheese. I think it was supposed to be parmesan, but at this point I wasn't caring too much.
So I fixed me a little bowl, cause by this time it was too late for me to be eating anyway. Especially that. It is too chickeny, of course, too salty, and too dry. I think I may be able to resurrect it tomorrow by adding liquid and pasta. If I have renewed energy.
If you make this, I suggest that you add no salt whatsoever and look for a flat chested chicken.
Don't bother with a shredder. Use two forks or a hand mixer. Or I have a shredder for sale cheap.
At some point I changed my mind. I will not be baking a cake tomorrow.
