'Twas the Night Before Christmas Eve

And I am much more ready than usual!

The only true casualty of the season:

Christmas cards.

I had the picture all planned, but I didn't

make it happen.  Sigh...

I do love the cards I've received!

Not sending Christmas cards left me time to make

my Christmas cookies, however!

My kids began asking for them last year--

quite a surprise to me since they

 are nutty (the cookies not the kids!)

Chock full of nuts! 

But they are just about the best thing ever!

If I do say so myself, and I do.

 Now I feel obliged to tell you that this

picture is carefully staged.

I know.  You're surprised.

Would you like to see what the kitchen

looks like after this mammoth production?

Well, have a look.

And it's 5:00 P.M.!  I started at 10:15 A. M.!

But I've taken a few breaks!

 

I still have a couple of gifts to pick up.

That's bad.

One won't be ready until tomorrow.

Oh well, I think mixing it up with the masses

kinda sounds like fun.

We'll see what I say after!

My Christmas cactus is...well...not 

quite on schedule.

I think I should have talked to it earlier.

Here it is:

 

It still looks pretty much the same.

It has lots of buds (predominantly on one side--

I should have rotated it!)

There are a few blooms.  Here are two.

When I got it the blooms were smaller and more

intensely colored.

What will happen, and when?

Stay tuned!

My sweet family will be here on the 26th when

Jay and Terri get back in town.

I will get to be at the Metzger's home on

Christmas morning for Santa Claus's

20th visit.

And the traditional fabulous breakfast!

It's A Wonderful Life!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! 

 

 

Please, Lord, I Was Already Sorry

If you see me tonight, you will notice I am limping.

Not as bad as I'll want to limp, however.

My left ankle is injured.

I kept thinking all morning about 

those football players

from Sunday's game and how they would

 not even notice this minor problem. 

Ouch, ouch.

No, not really.  It doesn't hurt sitting down!

I could not figure out what I had done to cause

this problem.

Did I sleep wrong on it?

Was it the marathon shoe-trying-on-spree

Susan put me through yesterday?

(She's determined to get me a new shoe

wardrobe--and rightly so!)

And then it came to me.

On the way home from the shoe thing 

I was hungry.

I heard a commercial on the radio for

Arby's Hawaiian roll roast been sandwich.

Yum.  Just what I needed wanted.

And right on my way!

So...I wheeled in to the drive through.

There was one car ahead of me.

"Good.  This won't take long."

I played a little Scrabble on my phone.

I pondered..."Is it taking him/her this long to make

up his/her mind?"

I rolled a little closer.  (Hint, hint!)

I lectured myself about patience and that this

was definitely a first world problem.

I would guess I actually waited 10 minutes.

The cars behind me in line were

beginning to honk.  (Well---one did.)

And the car just sat there.

I was completely trapped.  No escape.

I hope none of you were in that line,

because...

I had finally HAD IT.

I threw open my car door and 

stormed up the sidewalk into the building.

Yes, I really did.

I opened the door and said yelled,

"What is the deal with the drive-thru?"

They looked shocked but didn't answer,

so I said yelled it again!

The girl standing near the drive-thru 

window finally said, "Our system (speaker)

is completely down."

So I said, "Why didn't you send

someone out there to tell us?"

And stormed out.

By the time I got back to my car,

and reported to the lady behind me

in line, the car ahead of me had

finally moved.

I imagine seeing me go inside made him/her

rethink their decision to sit there

the rest of the night!

In answer to your next expected question.

No, I did not get my sandwich.

I drove out when I finally could, after at

least 20 minutes.

I was afraid they would do something

mean to my sandwich.

I'm sure I twisted my ankle in my haste

to set Arby's straight.

Please forgive me, Lord.

I am really sorry that I acted in such an

unladylike, unchristian, manner.

And I sincerely hope nobody who knows

me, except You, saw it.

And that my ankle is better tomorrow.

And I am sooo hungry for one of those

Hawaiian roast been sandwiches.

Are You a Big Spender?

This all started with one of my favorite jokes.

"Do you know the definition of a Big Spender?

Someone who puts premium gas in a rent car!"

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

I just love that!

So I came up with some more determining

factors.

You are a big spender if...

You had your car washed this week and

then drove through our disgusting slush pools. 

You are a big spender if...

You mail a Christmas card to your

next door neighbor.

(Count me in--been there, done that.)

And finally,

 You are a big spender if...

You buy a "premium" seat on an 

airplane after paying a hefty price for

the privilege of sitting on the thing

in the first place.

So, how about it?

Do you have some examples of

Big Spenders? 


Wait...can't believe I forgot this one!
Anyone who buys something full price at
Hobby Lobby
or
buys anything without a coupon at
Bed Bath and Beyond
is a Big Spender!

Tweaked to Squeaky Perfection

Twas the 4th day of Icemageddon

and all through the house,

Everything was tweaked, including the mouse.

 The work is all done
It's Christmas-y everywhere,
But the weather is horrid,
and there's no way to share!

Oh, yes there is!  I just remembered!  
You can look from your warm, comfy chair!
 

The most important thing is...

the beautiful nativity Jack bought for me.

I have a new love for my camels, since I got

 to meet one up close and personal this year!

And here's my kitchen nativity:

Here's the tree

And the stairway

This foxy couple watches those entering!
(If any could!)

And these guys overlook the diners!

(The lady frog croaks "Jingle Bells!")

Does anyone else still have this fellow?

He is "Shivers," and he shakes with fear or cold.

The girls used to hold and comfort him.

"It's okay, Shivers!"

Here he is in his spot on the catwalk.

For a couple of years this etagere would not open.

This year it will.

 It was so much fun tweaking

it to the required perfection!

Many treasures are displayed here.

Gifts from Shirley Branham and Brenda Riddle.

Waterford flutes from our 50th celebration.

Some things old...some things new.

And here's the bird house mansion!

This beautiful angel was new last Christmas.

She is impossible to photograph, but

take my word for it...

From the sublime to the just plain fun...

The table is set and ready for guests!

The plate of the year purchased...

 Sure hope some guests are able to arrive!

Now here's something I hope I can update

in the near future!

This is a Christmas cactus I received 

last year as a gift,

 loaded with blooms.

Will it bloom again for Christmas?

Since I do not have even one green thumb,

I am doubting that it will.

However, there is a little hope.

That is an ultra close-up of a bud, and there

are a few more. 

Every morning I check for new blooms.

Did I give it too much light? Or not enough?

Did I over water it? Or let it get too dry?

What will happen?

It was really beautiful with flowers!

 Stay tuned!

After all...hope was born at Christmastime.

Andres and Eilen

I watch Home and Garden TV frequently.

In our first world culture, there are nearly always the

same three top priorities required by new home buyers.

They are:

Hardwood floors, granite counter tops, and

stainless steel appliances.

These items must, of course, be in a home

which is in a desirable neighborhood,

with top notch schools, and

near public transportation to get people

to their jobs in the larger metropolitan areas. 
And I forgot one biggee:
An open floor plan is a must.
 

Last week I heard about a darling boy named Andres.

He lives in Sincelejo, Colombia.

One of our pastors, Jason Paredes, got to visit

the home of Andres on a recent trip to Colombia.

With a mixture of pride and embarrassment

(Jason being a "rich American") 

Andres gave a tour of the first home his
family had ever owned.

It was an abandoned bamboo shack.
It was not in a desirable neighborhood
(if there is such a thing in Sincelejo.)

The floors were not hardwood.

They were nothing but dirt.
One thing it did have?  The "open floor plan!"
A little more open than desirable.

There were no interior walls--just curtains.

There was no air-conditioning to protect

from the brutal Colombian heat and humidity.

There was only some protection from rain.

There were no closets for the extra

clothes the family didn't have. 


Children roam the streets instead of
attending school.


HERE you will find a video about Andres
and get to see his beautiful smile. 


For only $38 a month you can adopt a child
in Colombia and give him/her a chance to
live up to the potential God gave each at birth!
This sponsorship is through an organization
called Compassion International.

Here is my little girl:

A great percentage of little girls in Colombia
will end up prostituting themselves out of
hopelessness and desperation.
I want to help lift Eilen from that fate.


Jason stressed that he was not asking us to participate
in this effort out of guilt because we have so much.
Instead, I want to participate out of obedience
to Jesus, who said, "Feed my sheep."
And He did also say, "To whom much is given,
much is required."


It will be a great blessing to you if you watch the
video of Jason's sermon that I highlighted above.
I am only briefly hitting some of the highlights.
I can almost promise you that you will
want to help if you are able.
I am posting this for those of you who might
have missed church last Sunday,
or those whose church might not be participating
in a ministry such as this.


I would be thrilled to give you any more
information I might have, or
you may contact Compassion International
at compassion.com


Jesus said:  "Inasmuch as you have done it
unto one of the least of these...you
have done it unto me."

Put a Period on This One.

 Did you read HERE about my car? 

Now, everything is okay, but not in the way I expected.
I assumed there would be a very detailed investigation.

I really thought Perry Mason or Columbo would come to 

the scene to take measurements, etc. to

determine who was at fault for the Chick Fil A incident.

Since the other driver was backing up and therefore

had extra culpability, and since she bent my 

license plate in half as she backed past me,

 I knew Perry or, ...what was

Columbo's first name?...would readily declare me the

innocent victim.

Well, I called Allstate yesterday to see when I could

expect my check!

I can expect all I want to, but I'm not getting one!

They denied responsibility!

No Columbo, no Perry, no check!

I got very irate, and the agent remained very nice,

but all to no avail.

So...I called my insurance agent.  I assumed

that if Allstate denied, my insurance would have to

pay for the perpetrator's car.

Wrong.

If there's a difference in stories, and no witnesses or video

(Chick Fil A has cameras, but not one aimed where
 the accident occurred) 
evidently BOTH insurance companies

can deny responsibility!

The bad news is, if my car had significant damage,

my insurance company would handle it as if

it were struck by an uninsured motorist.

That would mean I would pay another $250!

The good news?  I can just get a new license plate

holder, and I'm good to go!

I did learn another lesson from this incident.
I don't know that it would have made any difference
in this particular case,
but I should have hopped out and taken a 
picture of the cars while they were still in crash position.
The location of impact would support my
story that the other driver was backing all the
way across the lot--not just turning to back in.

Oh...and the other driver has not even tried to
make a claim against my insurance...

My mother would not allow me to use word "liar,"
but
when last seen, she had smoke coming from her
pants.

  

What's With My Car?

 There's something weird about my car.

It doesn't look weird.

Well, that's not true.  It does right now and periodically.

That's the problem.

My car is a shiny black 2012 Infiniti G25.  

It will not be 1 year old until October 27th, 2013.

Some of you might recall that before it was 4 months old,

it was backed into at the Martin High School curb

 with me sitting in it waiting to give Susannah her lunch.

  "Minor" damage set me back $250 because

the perpetrator was a 52 year old uninsured motorist.

Shortly thereafter, a wandering shopping cart struck

it in the Wal Mart parking lot. 

Not just a scratch--a small dent.

Price to have fixed--around $125, so I'm just

living with that one.

It's a leased car, so hope to pass that one off

as "normal wear and tear."

Then Sarah and I drove it to Fossil Rim, where the 

aoudads' horns did a number on my rear view mirrors.

Now, as you can clearly see, this was Sarah's fault.

JUST KIDDING!!!

The scratches were (still are) worse on my side!

These particular ones were worth it!

Those aoudads were soooo cute, and we had such fun!

But...aoudad horns...normal wear and tear?

That may be a tough sell.

Then, last week after turning into the same garage

for 28 years, I somehow made a slight miscalculation.

I raked my front fender on the frame of the garage door.

I absolutely can't believe I did that, but I did.

The garage had been freshly painted--a light color--

so this one looked horrendous.

We need to stop a minute and consider what happens 

every time another boo boo gets inflicted upon my car.

I make a bee line for Precision Auto Body and

cry on the shoulders of my best friends, 

Andy and Bruce.

 I now just pull up in front of their door, and

out they come.

They didn't have to be shown that last one.

Gobs of "creamy mushroom" paint is hard to

miss on a black car.

The GOOD NEWS:  

 This one could just be buffed off!

That was last week.

Prepare yourself.

Yesterday I wheeled into the Chick Fil A drive thru

for lunch.

A car ahead of me turned into a parking place on

the left (headed into the building.)

Instantaneously, the car shot backward, toward me.

I stopped and frantically honked my horn, cause it was 

headed straight for me!

The driver never acknowledged me in any way 

and definitely was gunning it.

(She was backing all the way across to back into

a parking spot on the right side.)

I honked twice more, as she impacted the front

of my car.  I was so frustrated and angry,

but I just dialed 911.

(I was afraid it might be an uninsured driver again,

and Andy had told me Arlington is very strict

on uninsured drivers--often even towing their cars.)

As the 911 operator was talking to me, a lovely

female Arlington police officer came out of

Chick Fil A and appeared at my window.  

She helped facilitate the exchange of information,

which was helpful since the other driver

did not speak a lot of English.

But...she did have insurance!

I got my lunch, and guess where I headed.

Yep, Precision Auto Body.

But remember, friends, I was just there last week.

This time all humor was gone.

There is good news, however. 

The main damage to my car was to my license plate

(bent in half)

and to my heavy license plate holder.

(also bent in half!)

This is the other car:

Here the car is in the parking place the driver

 was aiming for--with just a little crash intervening.

 

As I upload these pictures from my phone and post

them, I am struck again by how much

worse this could have been.

Of course, the other driver is saying I hit her.

I was, in fact, sitting dead still, honking!

The fact that she was backing up without properly

checking behind her should be the deciding factor.

I hope so.

I'll let you know.

I certainly hope this craziness stops.

My lease is for 39 months!

 

Poor Linda...______ Finally Got Her

There are soooo many possibilities for filling in the blank.

My daughter would say,

"Lack of exercise" 

Of course, I'm planning to change that today.

Some of my friends would say,

"Consumption of Splenda, Sweet 'n Low, Equal, etc"
 

I personally might say,

"Her sugar-coated arteries"

Because however many teeth I have, that's how many

sweet-teeth I have.

This way of filling in the blank would be 

completely accurate:

"That girl never had five servings of fruits and

vegetables a day in her life."

(Well, maybe a few days.) 
  

Skeptics may say,

"Those nasty statin drugs she took"

but without them it would be...

"Her high cholesterol"
  

Here's a likely one:

"She dried up and blew away because she didn't

drink her 64+ ounces of water yesterday!"
(whilst enduring the pain of her latest kidney stone.)
 

She slipped and failed to take her

"Citracal, fish oil, folic acid, selenium, Centrum Silver,

glucosamine-chondroitin, baby aspirin, vitamin D3,

CoQ 10, and/or Vitamin B12"

or...
 

She TOOK

"Citracal, fish oil, folic acid, selenium, Centrum Silver,

glucosamine-chondroitin, baby aspirin, vitamin D3,

CoQ 10 and Vitamin B12"

  

She 

"continued to eat cereal with milk"

even though she heard that

85% of us are lactose intolerant.

She 

"failed to floss her teeth day before yesterday"

to which her heart succumbed.

She

"was a lazy butt rear thing who did not thoroughly

slather herself with SPF 30+ on a consistent basis."

So kids, don't bother with an autopsy.  Just make

a wheel and spin.  Wherever the arrow points

will be a good enough guess.