"Are Your Panties in a Wad?"

I was truly like a wide-eyed kid when I walked

onto the plane to bring me home.

It was a new American Airlines 777 300 ER,

and I've never seen anything like it.

The business class seats were sort of in an "S"

configuration so that you had no one beside you.

Neither could I see the person in front of me.

Super private.

Here is my best (not very good) picture.

!

The TV flips out toward you at the touch of a button.

The blanket area is where your feet go when

you recline the seat to a sleeping position.

Most impressive was the fact that as I was placing

my bag in the overhead bin, the captain

(or one of the captains)

came down the aisle, greeted me, welcomed me,

and shook my hand!

Here is my best shot of the controls for the seat and TV.

I didn't have a clue.

I did manage to find my headphones, but I could

not find where to plug them in.

Enter SFA #1.  (That's Surly Flight Attendant.)

I felt like a dummy asking such a basic

thing as where to plug the headphones in,

and she certainly seemed to agree that I was.

(a dummy.)

She reached over and jerked open the door to a

 compartment beside me and gestured toward an area, 

 which I had to use a mirror to see!

Let me just say, it was neither basic nor easy.

There was also...SFA #2.

They were really like something straight from a 

Carol Burnett routine.

Cold, unsmiling, just going through the absolutely

necessary motions with as much UNenthusiasm

as they possibly could possibly

muster up.

Although I had no idea how to work anything, 

I wouldn't have dreamed of asking the SFA's for help.

Somehow I did manage to get a game going on my TV,

and a friendly male FA from the other side of the 

plane came over and acted like he was going

to make a play on my screen.

I was able to ask him how to work everything

and even got to watch a movie

on the way home.

At one point I got a water bottle out of my

compartment.

I twisted the lid until my hand was raw but

couldn't get it open.

I decided to press my FA call button.

Guess what happened?

Good guess.  Absolutely nothing.

Thank goodness I didn't have an emergency.

I probably would not have taken the time to

write and complain about this, even

though it was a huge deal to me that I had burned

approximately 1 jillion AAdvantage miles

to be in 4J!!

However, when we deplaned, I learned something

that made me mad enough to compose a complaint.

The lady on my right here

was my 'idol' on the trip.

Her name is Betty Bob, and we celebrated

her 87th birthday at dinner one night!

She in great health and is sweet as can be.

She wore that cute hat which had souvenir pins

all around it from her travels.

Betty Bob had splurged and was in business

class, too, just a few rows behind me.

She fell victim to Surly Flight Attendant #2.

Poor Betty Bob made the

 tremendous, horrible, unforgivable mistake

of asking SFA #2 to help her get her bag

down from the overhead when we landed.

(Don't forget she's 87 years old.)

SFA #2: "Well, how did you get it up there?"

Betty Bob: "A gentleman helped me."

SFA #2: "Well, I suggest you get him to help

you get it down."

Okay.  That did it!  Even if I don't have my bag 

unpacked, I'm writing AA.

I received a fairly sincere sounding letter of apology

from Customer Relations,

although I'm sure the only original thing about

it was my name in the address line.

At least I tried.  I did all I could do, except...

 I just think it would have been so funny if I

had motioned to SFA #1 that I had something

to whisper to her.

She leans down, and I say,

 "Honey, you can tell me...

your panties are in a wad today, aren't they?"

Then she would storm back to SFA #2 and

say, "That woman (probably not what she

would have called me) in 4J just asked me if

my panties are in a wad!"

I'm laughing so that I can hardly type just

thinking about it!

Of course, who knows what kind of misery

they would have dealt me the rest of the flight!