I Took One For The Team Today, Mates!

Now be truthful.

Who among you has not wondered what the

"5 ways to reduce belly fat" or the

"5 foods you should never eat" are?

Have you ever relented and clicked on one of those

tempting sites?

 If so, you've probably discovered the

answers are so buried in gobbledegook 

that you've given up before being enlightened.

(I know this because I did one time.)

Until yesterday.

I couldn't resist checking this email out--for you.

The sender: National Health Solutions
The subject line:
Urgent: Milk worse than smoking?
Now my friends, don't you agree that I did
you a favor by checking this out???


So...I settled in to catching up with my missed recorded
episodes of Jeopardy (I was up to about 20),
started the stop watch on my phone,
and chose the "Read Transcript" version of
this Urgent video.
I would glance at my computer screen off and on
and make notes occasionally.
All for y'all!


Well, as it turns out, milk can not only be worse than
smoking, it can be worse than smoking
4 packs of cigarettes a day!!!
Not 2 packs, not 3 packs, but 4 packs.
(Personally, I would hate to be the attorney
trying to prove this in court.)


After many minutes spent trying to convince us
that smoking is bad for us, 
we finally get to the particulars about milk's badness.
We were to go to our refrigerators and check to
see if our milk has the letters
rBST
on the carton.
If so, you best be calling your mortician.
It comes from genetically modified cows
(or something like that.)
Of course, there is no milk (or anything else)
in my fridge.


Then, you need to know that milk is not the only thing 
you're killin' yourself with.
Just know that almost everything else you eat is
GM too.
The description of genetically modified corn was
so gross that it may take me a day or two
before I'm able to eat it again.


Anyhoo, after about 50 (fifty!!) minutes, we
get to the crux of the matter--
you need a monthly subscription to
Brad Henley's Natural Health Solutions.
It will set you back the bargain price of 
$49 per year (billed automatically to your credit card
and automatically renewable, of course!) 


But...wait...you also get 4 books free!
One of them shows you how you can gain
"food independence" with your own
garden in a 4' X 4' plot.
(Please trust me.  Don't plant corn.)
Another is Sin Foods for Healthy Living.
(Don't be expecting any ice cream.)
A third book will give you
77 Censored Cures.
(A cure was promised for absolutely everything.)
 


Oh, I almost forgot. 
This info is based on 44,000 pages of
"internal government files that they never wanted
you to see!!"
And this video could be withdrawn at any time!
Yes it could.  Are we you not the lucky ones?


Okay, about 5 commercial free episodes of Jeopardy later,
I shut off the stop watch.
One hour and twenty three minutes!
Who in the world would really watch this stuff
that long?


There was one thing that caught my attention,
but of which I have no knowledge.
One of the books promises to eliminate
man boobs from the comfort of your couch.
If this is of interest to any of you, contact me.
I haven't deleted the email yet. 


You're so very welcome.
Any time never again.