A New Game for "The Bachelor!"

Yes.  I was never ever going to watch this show again.

Here's what happened.

Someone saw Ben on a preview and told me that

he seemed very wholesome--kinda like Sean.

So...I decided I might just check it out and watched 

the first episode.

And the second.

And the third.

 I can't think of anything to say on my own behalf.

I'm not going to ask if you watch, because

I don't want to put you under that kind of pressure.

But, if you do...

 Here's my idea for a new sub plot.

I'm calling it "The "LIKE" Jar."

Supplies needed:  A Large jar with a slit in the top.

Participants will require a supply of dollar bills.

(Some more than others.)

Here are the rules.

Every time a participant on the show says the word

"LIKE"

she {or he}

 must deposit a dollar in the jar.

Now I don't know if you've noticed or not

(actually, how could you miss it!)

but the girls on this show are eminently qualified

to participant in my game.

They can work more "LIKES" into a

sentence than there are words.

Last night I did some preliminary research on

the feasability of my idea.

I had recorded "The Trashelor Bachelor on Monday.

I got my pad and pen and my remote,

and I painstakingly played the thing back,

tallying the "LIKES". 

 

I'm going to show you just the first page

of my tally, so you can see how real I am!

 Those first two entries are false starts.

(The ones scribbled out.)

They were "LIKING" so fast that I had to

back up and start over--twice!  I couldn't keep up!

By the first commercial, the word

LIKE

had been said 24 times.

It's mostly the girls, but actually Ben

 throws out quite a few "LIKES" himself.

I'm going to try to give you a little example

from the very beginning of the show...

 "Olivia said that she spent LIKE $40,000 on clothes."

"She constantly wants to make you know that she's

LIKE better."

"It's LIKE I don't get it.  LIKE there's so many LIKE

great girls in the house where it's LIKE I see 

LIKE where Ben really LIKE likes them."  

   

I am not kidding or exaggerating. These are direct quotes! 

(And I know that last one doesn't quite make sense!)

So what's the final verdict?

Not including the preview,

there were a grand total of 284 "LIKES"!

What I haven't decided is what should be done

with the dollars collected
After all, $284 is just the beginning
We've got LIKE weeks to go!

One possibility is plastic surgery for Olivia's ugly toes.

Another is removal of Lace's tattoo--

you know the one--

"You can't love someone else until you truly love yourself."

It's not workin' all that well for her. 

Or, poor Jami.  Maybe the money could buy her a cat

for her collection.
She's through with humans, you know.
(I don't know if we could buy her a human, anyway.)

I can honestly say this show is even dumber

when you watch it a second time!

I will not be tallying for y'all again!

By the way, if you're a closet watcher,

be sure to read Sheaffer's recaps at

pinteresttoldmeto.blogspot.com

They are the funniest things ever!

One season my excuse for watching was just so

I could appreciate Sheaffer's recaps more!