Need Something For Which to be Thankful?

Okay, today be thankful you didn't...

order two "cool" sweatsuits from Amazon which ended up looking like pajamas, procrastinating until the very last day they can be returned, having to make yourself look decent to go to the UPS store, gather up your oxygen equipment without which you cannot breathe, load into the car, and head out. Upon arrival, unload walker from trunk, attach its basket, load said oxygen in basket (it has to breathe, too, you know!) and said pajamas in pouch, and head in. When turn comes, nice man scans phone code and states that it is just for ONE item. Return that item, and return to car to frantically search phone for other bar code. Miraculously found it and..It turns out they were, indeed, both covered by the first one!

JUST KIDDING!!!

I love that I have a car and can drive and walk into a store, and my oxygen is my friend! Both times I came and went, nice friendly folks opened the door for me. When I was back in the car searching in my phone, a lady offered to come help me, cause she had had trouble accessing her code, too!

It looked very much like rain when I finally got myself presentable to undertake this task, and it did not rain one drop on me as I completed it! That was nice.

I will admit that I don't remember ever thanking God in my long life for the ability to breathe without supplemental oxygen. I should have! And maybe you will want to also.

God is "rich in love and slow to anger; His love is great and His heart is kind. For all His goodness I will keep on singing...

Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find."

Thinking About My Obituary

I got up singing the beloved old hymn, “Jesus Paid it All.” Particularly this part: “Child of weakness, watch and pray. Find in ME your all in all.” He knows that I am weak. I do not need to feel like a failure and a disappointment to Him if (when) I am weak.

Recently I have been striving toward being remembered as one of those people who was always smiling (I might do pretty good at that)

...and who never fell prey to weakness or fear or discouragement. I can’t seem to nail that part. I am way too human and, well…weak. “Child of weakness” That’s  me. Is that you, too? Well, we have someone waiting to help if we turn to Him. Someone who made us and understands and is not judgmental. Someone who is our all in all. The strength we need in our weakness. Because He loves us more than we are able to comprehend.

"Dear Father, help me to rely on you for strength, because today I just can't find it on my own."

And Jesus said back to me,

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  II Corinthians 12:9

I will not mind being remembered as "weak," because my weakness enabled Christ's power to rest upon me.

I Think I Feel Like Cooking!

                                      

I made a list of all the ingredients for this delicious sounding Garlic Parmesan Chicken. Oh...it's "Crack" Garlic Parmesan Chicken, and it went viral!!! It's a cinch to be out-of-this-world! Doesn't that sound like fun?

Well, I procrastinated on having my fun culinary adventure until the chicken was expiring, that being today. Okay, here we go! 

I'm excited! (Not really)

First, I had to unload about 75 cans of Dr. Pepper and bottles of water to get to my big slow cooker. I carefully fitted it with a plastic liner, which actually doesn't fit at all. I got out my 2 chicken breasts, not realizing the chicken must have been named Dolly Parton. They were enormous, but I didn't realize that might be a problem. I dutifully and generously sprinkled them with pepper and, for the first time, salt substitute. I'm not supposed to have much salt, so I was proud that I was being so good! (Might have been better off if I had tried it out first.)

Everything but the Dolly Partons

Then I added my jar of Garlic Parmesan Dressing by Buffalo Wild Wings, a cup of chicken broth, and a half cup of milk. I topped that off with an 8 oz. block of Philadelphia cream cheese and started the ol' cooker on "high." I was thinking at this point that tomorrow I might make a cake.

I just might have dozed off for a little nap, because when I next checked the slow cooker it was not cooking very slow. I turned it down to "low" and stirred everything up a bit. I think I may have added a bit of broth and milk, because the liquid part in relation to the chicken part already seemed a little disproportionate.

Later, I had completely lost track of how long I had been cooking my chicken. But I determined that it was done and got out my new handy dandy shredder. No two forks or hand mixer for me.  I had the real thing! The real thing just wasn't quite up to the Dolly size you know whats.

When I accomplished the shredding, like a dummy I dumped all that shredded chicken into my small amount of sauce! Actually, this may have been when I added some broth and milk, cause I still had rotini pasta to add! I also added frozen peas at this point, which was kinda my idea.

I got out my beautiful pasta pan and my clip on drainer (also new!) and brought my water to a boil. It took 13 minutes to cook that thick Rotini, 13 minutes of steaming up my hair which would have been ruined if it hadn't already been ruined by my new BiPAP machine.  Not to mention draining that pasta.        Good grief! It was like having a steam facial!

So glad I have a complete set of these pans...

I added (part of) my Rotini to the crock pot, which by now was looking burned around the edges. I didn't even know you could burn something in a crock pot--on low! Oh, and mozarella   cheese. I think it was supposed to be parmesan, but at this point I wasn't caring too much.

So I fixed me a little bowl, cause by this time it was too late for me to be eating anyway. Especially that. It is too chickeny, of course, too salty, and too dry. I think I may be able to resurrect it tomorrow by adding liquid and pasta. If I have renewed energy.

If you make this, I suggest that you add no salt whatsoever and look for a flat chested chicken.

Don't bother with a shredder. Use two forks or a hand mixer. Or I have a shredder for sale cheap.

At some point I changed my mind. I will not be baking a cake tomorrow. 

A Brief Update Cause It's Past My Bedtime!

There is still no definitive diagnosis of why my blood oxygen level drops too low, too often, even though I breathe supplemental oxygen 24/7. I feel fine as long as I am sitting but get winded upon any activity. 

I have had two sleep studies, resulting in prescription of a BiPAP machine which I am getting used to using at night. It has made a remarkable difference in the way I feel upon awakening in the morning. I am clearer headed, more optimistic, and only hit the snooze button 2 or 3 times instead of about 35.

I also have a new 3 wheeled walker. It is light enough that I can put it in my trunk. It is amazing how much farther and better I can walk when I use it. Susan recommended that I get one, and I researched and found the perfect setup for me. It has a basket for my oxygen machine and a pouch for my Bible and Sunday School notebook and purse. Here's a picture from last Sunday when I used it for the first time.

I don't know which bothers me more--that the doctors can't specifically diagnose my symptoms, or that I can't self diagnose! I can usually come up with a well thought out and reasonable explanation. But not this time, which is okay, cause I'm usually wrong anyway. One possibility, however, is that God is giving me one more run at believing this verse:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on 

your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

and this one:

"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say, Rejoice!

Let your gentleness be known to all. The Lord is near.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by

prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your

requests be known to God.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:4-7

Thank you for praying for me, dear friends.

"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days

of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord

forever."  Psalm 23:6

Trying to Keep Grandma Current

My sweet grandgirls try to include me in their lives. Since they live so far away, it's not always easy. So today Madeline sent me the following picture and said, "Only Murders in the Building" was filming on my block today!"

Several explanations for some of you who just might be less "cool" than I thought I was. "Only Murders in the Building" is one of my favorite shows and stars Steve Martin (my favorite actor), Selena Gomez, and Martin Short.  Madeline lives in an apartment on Broadway in New York, and it's right across the side street from the building where "Only Murders" is set. 

So I glance at the picture on my phone and send back the following message:

"Oh my goodness! I wish I could have been there! Could you see much or anyone?"  Love, Mimi

And then, in the midst of that "group of bystanders" in the picture, I see...none other than...

My favorite actor.  In person. Up Close.

I've told Madeline she can feel free to make a meme or reel or TikTok showing how grandma-ish her Mimi is.

*******************

Disclaimer or maybe Apology

I do NOT love the language in OMITB. In fact I loathe it. I regret that I have become jaded enough to tolerate it.

Life Update

I'm up in the wee hours drinking hot chocolate because I can't fall asleep. This is the 312th night I have gone to bed not knowing what is wrong with me. I just counted.

I finally got to see a pulmonologist this week, but he needed radiology results before he could make a diagnosis. I did have a lung function test which went very well and showed I did not have COPD or asthma. My heart also checked out pretty good for its age. I am no longer in Afib. I am still on supplemental oxygen all day and night, and my O2 level still drops into the 80's with any exertion. The doctor had me raise the output level a notch. I have portable oxygen now, so I am not homebound. 

The pulmonologist encouraged me to exercise, and he loved the plan Susan had suggested for me. I go to a large facility which has baskets (like Pottery Barn Outlet), and put my oxygen concentrator in the basket. I walked over 2000 steps Tuesday using that plan...and shopping! I haven't been shopping in person in months.

 The walker would serve the same purpose, but getting it in and out of the car is difficult for me. I have been unable to make it back to our church service because of that and the fact that my oxygen is noisy and doesn't last but 3 hours at best. Actually, it is less than that if turned up a notch as the doctor suggested. I am blessed to be back leading my class on Sundays.

I'm also again a "lady who lunches." Now I just have to watch the clock to be sure I don't outstay (and out gab) my oxygen!

Yesterday I overdid. First I mentored my student, which is a big undertaking for me with my carrier for our activities, our snacks, and my oxygen machine and purse! After that I drove to my oxygen company and picked up supplies. Then I went for a relatively healthy lunch alone at Cheddar's. I dropped off dry cleaning and a couple of returns to the UPS store. That was the most I had done in months. So...today I definitely reverted to underdoing!

I guess you can imagine how grateful I am for all the wonderful trips I've gotten to take. And...I haven't thrown in the towel on getting to take more! I would certainly encourage my younger friends (which is just about all of you who are reading this!) to GO if you can, while you can, where you can, as often as you can! This well worn luggage tag has traveled many a mile with me and was/is my motto! (Well, one of my mottos anyway!)

It is so worn it is hard to read. "The world is full of people who will go their Whole lives and not actually Live one day. She did not plan on being one of them."

I have lived a beautiful, blessed beyond measure life.

I see the pulmomologist again in six weeks.

You can read details of how this all began by going to the previous blog, "My Life/Interrupted."

Night, night. I'm gonna go try again!

My Life/Interrupted

According to my plans, today I should be cruising on this beauty, the Navigator of The Seas, from Los Angeles to Cabo San Lucas. Seven glorious days sailing the Mexican Riviera. But I'm not.

You see, my life has not been normal as of late. My wings have been clipped. My best laid plans have been interrupted. And I have been remiss in letting you, dear friends, know.

I had been short of breath at times for a few years, but on Monday, May 15, 2023, I had a real scare. I got so out of breath loading my car that I could not drive to mentor my beloved 6th grade boy. I was diagnosed that day with AFib, sent to a cardiologist,  and placed on medication. Four days later I was hospitalized for 12 days after additionally being diagnosed with pneumonia. The lengthy stay was due to my blood oxygen level (02) failing to stay above 90. You know...it's measured by that little thing the doctor clips on your finger (pulse oximeter) during a check-up.

I missed my boy's end of school activities and party. I missed 7 Sundays with my Sunday School class. The medication didn't control my AFib well enough for me to pursue life normally. I opted on October 24, 2023, to have a cardioversion, a shock to the heart under anesthesia to restore normal rhythm. It was successful with only one shock. I was out of AFib, but unfortunately I was still also out of breath. I just never regained the ability to walk any distance at all without very frightening huffing and puffing.

I limped along through November and December with some adjustments. My mentee would meet me in our room rather than my going to get him. I ordered all my groceries and even my Christmas gifts. I was extremely blessed to be able to hostess my Sunday School class for our Christmas party and then my family for opening Christmas gifts, with a lot of help from my girls! Both events were simply wonderful.

By January 2, 2024, I realized my 02 was dropping and staying below 90 again. (With my history I had bought a pulse oximeter.) I went to my primary care doctor but didn't feel bad while I was there, and my 02 measured 92 (of course it did!) Therefore, I came home and got worser and worser! I took 4 Covid tests, all negative, and I believe it was just a horrid cold. But my 02 levels demanded attention, and I was put on supplemental oxygen. It didn't even seem real that was happening to me!

Since that day I have been tethered to a 50 foot tube connected to an oxygen concentrator 24/7 inside my home. I have only ventured out three times to get my hair done (I know!) and a few times for doctor visits and another CT scan. Susan has taken me each time wrangling a large wheeled oxygen tank as well as a spare in case it runs out.

I finally had an appointment with a lung doctor on Monday, January 29th after the results of the latest scan raised some questions. He listened attentively to my story and took a progressive but conservative approach. We are waiting hopefully for all of the congestion in my airways from the cold to clear out before doing further lung testing. In the meantime the doctor  prescribed a lightweight portable oxygen concentrator which will give me some freedom to leave my home and put some normal back in my life...and Susan's!

This is the scripture I have clung to during this recent phase of my plight:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Whether here on this earth or in heaven above, my future is secure because Jesus died in my place. He paid the highest price so that, by believing in Him, I might live forever in heaven.