Monday, August 17, 2015

My Swansong on "The Donald"

Okay.  So I'm definitely no politico.
Embarrassing as it is, I really thought "The Donald's"
run for the presidential nomination would be
about as serious as my offhand comments
that I would vote for him if he ever ran for 

I am a coward
I have very thin skin. 
Debating anything political with anyone
would give me hives.

I am willing to say only this.
I was duly impressed with all but one of
the participants in the top ten debate.
(And that one WAS NOT The Donald!)
(It was someone whose hair was even crazier IMO!)

I did not think the questioning was fair and impartial.
I also did not think Donald's later reactions to the
unfair questioning were "presidential."

If anyone I knew were to have conjoined twin
babies, I would definitely want
Dr. Ben Carson
to be their doctor.
I loved him!

If I had to put my life savings in the hands of
one of the debaters, that one would be
Donald Trump.
The indebtedness of our country
stands at approximately 9 trillion dollars,
and rising daily!
 I don't really even know 
how to write that amount numerically.
I think Donald does.

I'm only going to say this, and then
I am over and out.
I am very skeptical of the ability of
career politicians
to get us out of the mess we're in.
Some of them are extremely likable and
offer soothing, promising rhetoric.
rhetorical ability does not equal experience.
I'm just not feelin' it any more.

P.S.  I also find a lack of strict adherence to
political correctness and "safe" answers

Now I really am...





Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Oh, Donald!

A debate!
At least you're admitting that debating is 
not your thing.
(And I, for one, do not care!
Good debate skills don't qualify one to get us out of 
the mess we're in.)

I hope you do not cave in to the speech writers
and image makers.
(I doubt that's even possible with you!)
It should be refreshing to see someone 
"tell it like it is!"
To hear someone speak the truth,
even if it is not politically correct or
designed simply to obtain votes.

Now, I NEVER watch debates.
The contentiousness makes me too nervous.
However, I may have to watch this one.
You will find me hiding behind my recliner
peeping around the edge so I can
avert my eyes and cover my ears
 if I feel it necessary.

So, have at it you professional, slick debaters.
Show me the person who knows how to
Who may be able to see to it that my children
have the Social Security for which they have paid!

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Show and Tell

One of the sad things about living alone is that
you don't have anyone to show your new stuff to.
And you know I get excited over new stuff!
So today, would  you please be my
 "Show and Tell" audience?

First, this new plaque I found has such a good message!
I have it hanging in the perfect spot right by
my recliner, and I try to read it every morning.


While I read my plaque...

I know it's hard to read the bright, twinkling lights,
but that's what it says!
Isn't it cute? 
(Yes, I turn it on every morning!)

 And see my dressed up dining table?!

I have been wanting this set of candle holders,
flower rings, and candles
for a very long time!
They were out of stock by the time I 
ordered them last year, 
and it took forever to get them this year.

This last thing is a little something very cheery
I picked up at The Dove's Nest in Waxahachie.
To continue the theme started by my new plaque,
the tin says, "be lovely."
I may be so sweet that just being around me
gives you a cavity.

And here it is in its perfectly matched setting!
Which always looks exactly like this.
{Because it's never used}


Thank you one and all.
I can just hear the 'oohing' and 'aahing now.'
(Oh...wait...I think that was me.)

*Remember--click on the pictures to make
them larger and more readable!
You can totally read COFFEE!


Sunday, August 2, 2015

To Crate or not to Crate

We got Miss Charleigh-Girl Stovall in 2005.
 Of course, we purchased everything recommended
by the pet store, which included a crate.

Funny thing...there are no pictures of baby C-G
inside her crate *palace.*
(From day one I insisted it be referred to in that way.) 
 I'm not real sure baby C-G was ever in there.

You see, we as humans transfer the way we feel
to our canine babies.
 I didn't think I could lead an
"exclamation point life"
if confined to that crate, (even if it was called
a palace);
therefore, she couldn't either.

If I felt this way, Jack felt it more so.
His "hobby" was taking C-G out, whether she
needed to go or not!
About 75 times a day!
 As I remember things went fairly well for a while.
She was not trained, but we were.
Well, sort of.
She didn't have the kind of accidents you're
thinking of much.

When we weren't looking,
she chewed up doorposts.
She chewed up a check which I had to have replaced.
She chewed up very good shoes.
She gnawed the corners of a rug to the point
that parts had to be re-woven and re-fringed!
She also eventually began having those
accidents you were originally thinking of!

I have no idea when I wised up.
But I finally did.
I started bribing her to get in the palace as I left.
When I got home, she didn't even bark
demanding to be let out of jail!
Was it possible she didn't mind it?
No.  That couldn't be.
But...I stopped bribing.
She still went in.

And then...this.

I looked around one day, and there she was.
I didn't tell her to get in there.
She chose to herself.
She must not feel claustrophobic! could she not?
I would!
Now I never can tell when she'll be lying
in there, happy and feelin' safe
(so the experts tell me!)

The answer, therefore, in my humble opinion is
Save yourself lots of heartache and aggravation.
Sister Boo is now in her crate EVERY TIME I LEAVE!

That's why I got so miffed with her HERE.
Those misdeeds happened while I was at home!
"Am I going to have to start putting you
in your palace while I'm here, young lady???"

Oh, one more thing.
I've had people give me grief over the size of her crate,
thinking it is too small.
It is actually perfect.
It should not be oversized and roomy.
As long as she can stand and turn around in it,
it is big enough! 
I know...I wouldn't like it that tight either.
But I guess she and I don't really think alike--
about that anyway.
We certainly do share a love of strawberry shakes.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Something at Which I'm Good!

As promised in my last blog.

 Here's a hint:

I am a great gift wrapper!
This, my latest, is for
Miss Emily Marie Oliver and Mr. John Deaso!

Of course, I gift wrap just like I do everything else.
Meticulously, painstakingly, and taking foreverly!
If I leave a package sitting on my counter,
I tweak the bow every time I walk by--
approximately 762 times.
Yes, it has been tweaked to death by the time
it is presented and opened.

Here are some samples of my Christmas packages:
(They may look a little boring because all 
absolutely must fit the color scheme,
but of course!)

Now this next masterpiece is a birthday gift--
something very special for one of the girls.
But darned if I can remember what it was!
Its bow is actually orange ribbon on beautiful 
stained glass design paper.
I got a deal on orange ribbon!

Speaking of ribbon, that has become a problem.
I am beholdin' to Susan for my knowledge of
how to make my bows.
Many years ago there was a small shop at
North Hills Mall
which sold ribbon and matching bows which they made.
Sus boldly asked them how to make the bows,
while I cowered in fear that they would say,
"Well, why would we reveal that to you?!"
But they didn't and they did--and very nicely.
The ribbon they used was flimsy and inexpensive,
(cheep, cheep)
but widely available at the time.
All of a sudden I realized it had disappeared
from the market.
So, what does one do in that case?
One Googles "cheap paper-like ribbon!"
I ordered several colors--but not orange!

I realize that most folks have switched to lovely
bags and tissue for their gifts, 
but I still like hearing, "Oh, that's a Mimi bow."
Or, "We know who this one's from!"

It's something I enjoy, until
Chrismas Eve when I still have unwrapped presents!
At that point, you might find me going
for the sack of stick-ons!

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Something at Which I'm Lousy!

And if you tell me you're good at it,
I'm going to be suspicious.
It is: approximating distance.
Especially in "yards."

In case you're wondering what in the world
could have prompted me to think about
such an important issue this morning, it is this
article which was on my Facebook feed:

No floaties needed! In the video, the bucks were crossing from one island to another, and the man who shot the video estimated that they swam approximately 700 yards across the lake.

 I do point out that the information quotes a man as
estimating the distance of this swim as
"approximately 700 yards."
I think it is usually a man thing.

Now if I had seen this fascinating sight, I probably
would have said,
"You just wouldn't believe how far they swam!"
Sad but true.
That would be the best I could do. 
(But I might be good at rhyming.)

Did this man really know how far 700 yards is?
I mean, how the heck do you even do this?
I might be able to estimate feet--sometime.
And I know there are 3 feet in a yard.
But 700 of them?  No clue.

I think my pal Judge Judy acknowledges this problem.
I can just feel you wondering how I know that.
Well, when she is trying a case involving distance,
she says,
"Point to something in the courtroom which is
about as far away as you're indicating."
Not, "How many feet."
And certainly not, "How many yards!"

Next post will be "Something at Which I'm Good"
(if I can come up with anything!)



Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Dear Donald:

First let me say that
I am a big fan of The Apprentice,
even though watching it makes me very nervous.
I would be so bad at the tasks the contestants
have to execute.
And I would refuse to call you "Mr. Trump"
even though you are richer,
I am older!

Now I've been known to timidly say several times
(kinda quietly)
that I would might vote for you for President.
 Actually, there is only one reason for that.
You know how to handle money!
I think you could come closer than anyone else
to balancing our ridiculous, bloated, over extended
U. S. Budget!

I had no idea you would actually consider
throwing your hat into the ring.
Now that you've done that,
I have some serious concerns.

This is going to be an uphill battle for you,
All anyone wants to talk about is your hair. 
And your ability to fire people. 
You don't appear to be doing anything to alleviate
this situation.
 Criticizing McCain right off the bat in the way
you did?
Not a good move.
Hardly the best way to kick off your campaign.
You may need to hire a "handler." 
Or a whole squad of advisers.

Now I haven't been able to force myself to read
all the other probably stupid uproars you
have created. 
Let's get serious.
You need to settle down a bit--no, a lot!
You need to accentuate the positive.
Assure us that we will not all end up as indentured
servants to the rest of the world!
Tell us you can fix Social Security!

Didn't your mother ever tell you,
"Think before you speak?"
You may not have had to do that in business,
since you hold the purse strings.
But, if you are going to hold the purse strings
of our nation, you may have to develop
a bit of humility.
(I'm afraid you may have to look that
word up in a dictionary.)

That's all for now.
I'll be watching hopefully for some positive news 
from you.
Show 'em you really can
Make America Great Again.

  Signed: Linda L. Stovall
A {Skeptical} Potential Supporter 

P.S. (I always have to have a P.S.)
I am very confident, Donald, that we citizens
would not have to DEMAND that
you lower the flag to half staff at the
White House if five of our beloved military
personnel were assassinated on your watch.