Saturday, February 6, 2016

Will Wonders Never Cease!

Does anyone else frequently and obnoxiously
use this expression?
It was one of my mother's favorites, and 
going one step further, I have even set it to music.
Just ask my kids.


Well.  It has never been more applicable than today.
Remember this?

Click Here

Even though I felt foolish and like I was wasting
my time,
I wrote American Airlines a detailed letter
about the circumstances under which my 
brand new bag was ruined.
Of course, I sent several gruesome pictures.


About two weeks ago I decided to give the baggage
service number a call so I could put the
matter out of mind.
Again, I got an extremely nice lady.
(It surely must have been the same one!)
She said that it takes 12 to 14 weeks after
they receive a complaint before it is 
assigned to a handler.
I told her how unreasonable I thought that time
period to be.
And, guess what?
She agreed!!!
(Musical notes..."Will wonders never cease,
will wonders never cease,
will wonders never, ever, ever cease.")


Well...I want so badly to show you a picture
of what I received in yesterday's mail,
but my computer is not cooperating.
It is a check from American Airlines to moi
for $69.95!
Really!  Can you believe it?
In spite of the fact that the bag is still
technically usable,
and that the imposed time limit to complain
was outside of my capability,
  and that I fully expected them to just ignore me,
they paid me.


Sometimes we don't receive because we don't ask.
Even if we feel foolish doing so!
And feel free to ask me to do a chorus of
Will wonders never cease
next time you see me.
You may find occasions where it fits perfectly.
 


 









Monday, February 1, 2016

Don't Be Scammed, Friends!

I would guess the ads appeal to a lot of us.
They pop up on your Facebook page,
and are for getting rid of pesky belly fat,
relief from painful knees,
miraculously reducing wrinkles, eye bags, dark spots,
etc., etc., etc. 


They have a lot in common.
They have been carefully engineered to draw you in.
They are usually very long,
and you have to keep going to the end to find out
"how much."


And...they almost always offer a "free trial."
WHOA!  That is a giant RED FLAG, friends!
Mark my words and don't believe it for a nanosecond.


Although it pains me greatly to admit it,
I have fallen for Scenario #1.
It was for not one, but two "samples" of 
miracle face products.
It was for a 14 day "free trial" of both--
for shipping charges only--$4.95 each.
I knew it would be risky, 
but I had no idea just how risky.


When the products arrived, I thought them to be
remarkably big for trial samples.
And, before I knew it,
 (and before I'd even gotten around to trying what I had)
 I received two more bottles--
same size--of the products in the mail.


Sparing you all the details, I ended up paying for
the first shipments.
I'm too ashamed to tell you how much.  
I had to stop payment on my credit card for the
second two.
The lady at my credit card company was
all too familiar with the scam.
She told me right away that those first two
were not "samples."
They were full sized products.
She had heard my sad song before!


 The ad for my beauty products has now been suspended.
However, I had gone back and put in a fictitious name, etc.
on this site, and I realized you have to be
almost past the point of no return before you are
able to see the "small print."
The products I received were waaayyy too large
to use in a month, and yet they were mailing
them to me that often.
The "free sample" would have had to be returned
to them in 14 days--from order date to
date of receipt back at their warehouse.
In other words...impossible.
It was time consuming, frustrating, even infuriating!
Don't get fooled.


Today a new approach appeared on my Facebook.
Scenario #2 was called "Instaflex"
and is supposedly a miracle for knees like mine--they hurt!
You actually receive a 14 day supply--
for only the shipping charge of $4.95.
In the (fake) "comments,"
someone asked, "Why do you charge shipping?"
The answer (a big fat lie) was that 
otherwise people might take advantage and order
under different names, etc.
The truth?  You HAVE to give them a credit card
to pay the shipping charge.
And, guess what?
Then they've got you!
You've signed up for monthly, very $$$ shipments
unless you cancel before you even have a
chance to see if the product works.


I've been trying to make myself admit for about a year
that I, Linda Jane Lynn Stovall, 
fell for one of these scams.
I wanted to try to keep it from happening to any of you.
However,
I convinced myself that no one else would fall
for such a thing.
But...that knee pill this morning would have looked
pretty tempting if I had not known better.


So, dear friends.
Forewarned is forearmed!
Don't think (as I did) that you will stay on top
of it and not be taken advantage of!
If you can find the small print, you'll realize that's where they've got you, and you will not win!
Besides, any company that would work that hard
 to trick us probably has a no-good product anyway!


_____________________


I would surely appreciate it if any of you have
ever "experienced" one of these scams,
you would tell my kids.
Otherwise, I may be required to forfeit my computer.




 

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

A New Game for "The Bachelor!"

Yes.  I was never ever going to watch this show again.
Here's what happened.
Someone saw Ben on a preview and told me that
he seemed very wholesome--kinda like Sean.
So...I decided I might just check it out and watched 
the first episode.
And the second.
And the third.

 I can't think of anything to say on my own behalf.
I'm not going to ask if you watch, because
I don't want to put you under that kind of pressure.
But, if you do...


 Here's my idea for a new sub plot.
I'm calling it "The "LIKE" Jar."
Supplies needed:  A Large jar with a slit in the top.
Participants will require a supply of dollar bills.
(Some more than others.)


Here are the rules.
Every time a participant on the show says the word
"LIKE"
she {or he}
 must deposit a dollar in the jar.


Now I don't know if you've noticed or not
(actually, how could you miss it!)
but the girls on this show are eminently qualified
to participant in my game.
They can work more "LIKES" into a
sentence than there are words.


Last night I did some preliminary research on
the feasability of my idea.
I had recorded "The Trashelor Bachelor on Monday.
I got my pad and pen and my remote,
and I painstakingly played the thing back,
tallying the "LIKES". 

 
I'm going to show you just the first page
of my tally, so you can see how real I am!
 Those first two entries are false starts.
(The ones scribbled out.)
They were "LIKING" so fast that I had to
back up and start over--twice!  I couldn't keep up!



By the first commercial, the word
LIKE
had been said 24 times.
It's mostly the girls, but actually Ben
 throws out quite a few "LIKES" himself.


I'm going to try to give you a little example
from the very beginning of the show...

 "Olivia said that she spent LIKE $40,000 on clothes."
"She constantly wants to make you know that she's
LIKE better."
"It's LIKE I don't get it.  LIKE there's so many LIKE
great girls in the house where it's LIKE I see 
LIKE where Ben really LIKE likes them."  
   
I am not kidding or exaggerating. These are direct quotes! 
(And I know that last one doesn't quite make sense!)


So what's the final verdict?
Not including the preview,
there were a grand total of 284 "LIKES"!


What I haven't decided is what should be done
with the dollars collected
After all, $284 is just the beginning
We've got LIKE weeks to go!
One possibility is plastic surgery for Olivia's ugly toes.
Another is removal of Lace's tattoo--
you know the one--
"You can't love someone else until you truly love yourself."
It's not workin' all that well for her. 
Or, poor Jami.  Maybe the money could buy her a cat
for her collection.
She's through with humans, you know.
(I don't know if we could buy her a human, anyway.)


I can honestly say this show is even dumber
when you watch it a second time!
I will not be tallying for y'all again!


By the way, if you're a closet watcher,
be sure to read Sheaffer's recaps at
pinteresttoldmeto.blogspot.com
They are the funniest things ever!
One season my excuse for watching was just so
I could appreciate Sheaffer's recaps more!





 



    


 
 

 

Sunday, January 17, 2016

What's On Your Nightstand?

I read in a most reliable source
(one of the many catalogs that I receive)
that this is becoming a new, popular pick-up line.
Actually, it was in an ad for a t-shirt for book lovers.
So...the answer is supposed to involve what one is
reading at the present time.
You know--what book is on your nightstand.


Before I caught the book part, I started thinking
literally about what is on my nightstand{s}.
Not much.
There certainly isn't a book there.
First, it's sad, but I don't read books any more.
No, no--I still read.  It's just that I read from my Kindle.
Second, my Kindle would not be on my nightstand
because I couldn't stay awake for two pages
if I were trying to read in my warm comfy bed.


Everything on my nightstands has a purpose.
 That purpose is: to look pretty.
This is so ridiculous, but it's true.
There are lamps which provide light.
But that is not their main purpose.
They are carefully chosen because they look pretty.
There are no tissues or chap stick.
Because they aren't pretty.
I have to get up and traipse to the bathroom for them 
if I have the need.


One nightstand does have an interesting item on it.



That lighted bowl on the bottom shelf is a
Himalayan salt lamp.
I bought it somewhere on my cruise to Iceland.
I'm working on remembering where.
I'm also going to read up on these lamps.
I think they may be beneficial in some way 
other than looking pretty.
(The little birdy is not salt--just 
blissfully color compatible.)
 


And, wait!  There is also that pair of antique binoculars!
I'm pretty sure we bought them in Germany.
(Well, sort of sure...I think...maybe it was Germany.)
They look so darn good with the mural--
get it?  You look at the ocean through the binocs!



I know you may be skeptical as to the likelihood of
me encountering a pick up line.
Well, it actually happened on my last cruise.
The line was not really very original
(or very audible.)
It was, "Can I buy you a drink?"
And my response was:
"What was that?"
"Can I buy you a drink?"
"Oh, no thank you" in a flustered manner.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, but thanks."
I jokingly told my tablemates that you'd think
he could have at least asked me what my
sign was first!
(Just keeding.  I'm definitely not into "signs.")
(But that's the only pickup line I know knew!)



So...can't you just hear it now on my next cruise.
"Hey there.  What's on your nightstand?"
"A Himalayan salt lamp and antique binoculars."
"Ohhh.  Nice talkin' to ya."















Wednesday, December 30, 2015

The Great Mexican Food Debate

So what is your favorite Mexican food restaurant?
More importantly, why is it your favorite?
These important questions are the basis of my
discussion of My Exclamation Point Life on
this New Year's Eve Eve.
No, I don't have much to do.


Although these topics have puzzled me for decades(?)
two recent events have brought them more 
into the focus of my deliberations.
First is the recent visit of my cousin Sarah
 from Tucson.
In planning our dining experiences, I should
certainly include Tex-Mex, don't you think?
No.  Sarah doesn't like "our" Mexican food.
I took her with great excitement to the most famous
of our Mexican restaurants--Joe T. Garcia's.
"Nothing special," she super nicely told me!
And to my own personal favorite--The Mexican Inn.
"Nothing special."
Ditto El Fenix with my lunch bunch, and I gave up.


The second event was reading about the great
Campo Verde debate on Facebook.
I had desperately wanted to take Sarah to CV
when she was here during the Christmas season,
but I didn't dare!
If she thought those others were bad...


So please tell me...what is your favorite and why.
I'll start.
The Mexican Inn is my favorite because of their
chips.
To me, everything else they have tastes like 
everything else all the others have.
But their chips are THE BEST.
When my kids were growing up I used to make
chili and get MI chips to go with it.
And that tradition carries on with them today.


I also like El Fenix because of their 
sour cream chicken enchiladas.
And I will be brave enough to admit that I even like
Campo Verde
because of the cheesy ambiance--especially at Christmas.
And their nachos are very tolerable.


Actually, our family's favorite Mexican restaurant
was Caro's, on the Blue Bonnet traffic circle
in Fort Worth--now closed.
The standout for Caro's was their puffy tostados,
which they brought before the meal 
instead of traditional chips.
These were the best things ever!


I'm getting the drift here that we are primarily a
"chips" family!
I guess it depends on what you especially like
at a Mexican restaurant.
I mean, does anybody prefer anyone's beans or rice
over anyone else's?
They all taste pretty much the same to me.
And exactly how is one enchilada or taco
significantly better than another.
That's not a rhetorical question--inqiring
minds really want to know!


Herein may lie one of Sarah's problems.  
I remember her entree of choice at least one of 
those times was a chimichanga.
What in the world is a chimichanga, and
who has Texas's best?
Seriously, friends, help me here!


I have found something that may surprise you.
For Mexican food (except for chips)
I have a new favorite.
It is Chili's.
Chili's has the best sour cream chicken enchiladas,
accompanied by cilantro rice and black beans,
both also especially good!
 If this is your entree of choice, give it a try!


And one more thing.
Sarah and I agree that when it comes to tacos,
you just can't beat Taco Bell!
 I mean it!
Especially their crispy taco supremes.


Looking forward to some opinions, y'all hear?
 
 


 


 


 
 

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Keepin' Me Humble

My car lease was expiring soon, so I began
to receive calls tempting me to trade it in early.
I went out "just to look"
and ended up getting a GREAT deal on a new one. 
I think!


In the process of doing the paperwork, 
the financial guy told me that my credit rating was
very good--one of the best he'd seen.
I don't keep up with that, so I was pretty impressed
with myself. 
I couldn't go around bragging--
it's a little hard to work that into a conversation--
so I just enjoyed ruminating on the thought and
fantasizing about what I could buy!


Perhaps I might have ruminated a little much?


My cousin Sarah spent several days with me
last week.
We ran ourselves ragged.
Friday to Northpark shopping and eating,
Friday night to see Susan in Cleburne in
Sanders Family Christmas,
Saturday night Christ Chapel's music concert,
Sunday my church, then an open house,
then Fielder's Christmas concert,
in which I sang,
Monday to Waco to see Baylor, Magnolia, eat at Fuego,
get a hug from Susannah,
and see our uncle Ralph Lynn's former home
and plaque in the SUB.
All in my new car--with it's moon roof!
"Oh, yah!  We were stylin'!"


Sarah was departing Tuesday morning.
I arose to a problem.  We had no electricity.
I called the trouble number and pretty quickly
found out there was a reason we didn't.
Someone had failed to pay the bill.
They had shut it off!
How's that to knock one down a notch or two?
But, how dare them?
I have really good credit!
Or at least I did have!


Sarah had to get ready to go home in the dark. 
The biggest problem: no coffee.
I can laugh about it now, but I sure couldn't then!


Gotta go.  Only paid that one overdue month
over the phone.
It may be time for another payment.


"But, Lord, I thought I was already humble.
Forgetful, but humble."


********************** 


1.  It is Stream Energy.
2.  The bill was 19 days overdue.
3.  I had received no overdue notice.
4.  I had received another bill--very routine--
nothing to illuminate the fact that
an overdue amount was included.
5.  You know, you hear these stories about
families going in and finding 
stacks of overdue bills in their
elderly parent's house?  Well,
they will certainly be in the
dark if it's me!
It only takes 1!



********************


UPDATE
Friday, December 11th

 
I got a call from Stream today.They wanted to be sure they had my correct 
billing address (I've been with them since 2011!)
It seems my pink slip (warning notice)
was returned to them for some reason.
After speaking to a supervisor, then a manager,
the disconnect and reconnect fees were refunded.

  
 

Monday, November 23, 2015

America's Priorities

Just in case you missed the "news" today...
I'm doing a little recapping for you
from my AOL news feed.
 Click on the pictures to read the 'important'
captions. 
















 Oh, yeah, and there was this one about the tragedy
in Paris.






 There are approximately one million thoughts
running through my head.
And I can't think of one thing to say.