MY DOG RULES (Illustrated by Charleigh-Girl Stovall)

RULE #1

No dogs are allowed in the house period.

Prior to 2005 this was our rule, and these were our pets.

 That was our dog, Woody, and our cat, Whiskerless.
They didn't mess up anything.
They didn't have to be fed.
They didn't need a sitter when we left.

BUT...

On August 20, 2005, our policy changed.

RULE #2

A dog is going to be allowed in our house,

but ONLY on the tile and wood floors.

We surprised shocked Madeline and Susannah!

 (Along with everyone else in the world!)

 

RULE #3


Okay.  It looks like the dog is going to be on
all floors, but she must stay off the furniture.

(and please leave the Christmas display alone!)

RULE #4

If the dog gets on furniture, it must be the leather
stuff to which she will do less harm.

(That's my recliner, young lady!)

RULE #5

Well, thanks to you, Ken Smith, she now feels
welcome on the fabric sofa, BUT
she absolutely must not get on our bed!

RULE #6

Oh, all right.  She can get on the bed for a
photo shoot, but that's it.

RULE #7


The dog can get on the bed when it's not made up.

(But that look is a little smug!)

RULE #8

Fine.  She may sleep on the bed but not
under the covers.

 

(I will, however, scratch her chin just a bit

so she can get to sleep.)

 

RULE #9

The dog may get under the covers ONLY by 
invitation.

 

 

Stop it, Charleigh-Girl.
That's by MY invitation to YOU,
not YOUR invitation to ME!

RULE #10


In order to save face (mine) rules will be on an
"as needed" basis.
I will continue to try to convince the dog
that I am the boss.
This fact seems to have eluded her so far.

RULE #11

There is a part of the soul that remains 
unawakened
if one has not known the love of an animal.
Period.